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Worthy to Print Column | Living in a Family Town

George Worthy

You know I have had a few folks ask me why I live in Gonzales. Let’s see… it couldn’t be the night life. Oh sure, we have mariachi bands trying to get the snare drum to match the bass they play so well. Have you ever spent the evening or night listening to the ay-yi-yi callout for all the folks to sing-a-long. For fact, I truly don’t mind the mariachi bands. 

When we went down to Tatiposco a few years ago, we were entertained by this guy who told us that mariachi bands were invented in the neighborhood. Of course, I had my doubts because there are so many different tunes played around here that surely they didn’t get all the harmony from one place. But then I was informed by the Master of Ceremonies that some other places in Mexico claim they are the home of mariachi. 

Just as I digested that fact, he raised his voice like a first sergeant announcing reveille and said, “THEY ARE LYING!!” The way he said it convinced me that he was telling the truth. I planned on asking the next mariachi band playing in my neighborhood if he was telling the truth, but he anticipated my response and said, “Don’t even waste your time asking them because they lie!”

I, for one, choose to believe him because in the county seat of Tatiposco, a cool little town named Cocula has a mariachi band museum dedicated to the beginning of mariachi. You should go, if you are ever in the neighborhood.

No, it isn’t the music that keeps me here. It isn’t the fact that if you want anything special you have to order it. That actually is a good thing. My dad told me when I was a wee tyke, “If I really wanted something really bad, wait a week. If I still wanted it, go ahead and order it.” That little piece of advice has stood me well for the past many years. Of course I don’t always heed the advice given to me, like when I told him how much I wanted a car.

One of the other things that makes Gonzales very unique is the afternoon wind. Who hasn’t left the house without even taking a coat because the weather is forecasted to be in the 70s? You remember, don’t you? You got to admit it beats the smog, doesn’t it?

No, none of those things or really anything else would keep me here. The reason I live in Gonzales is because Gonzales is a family town. I mean it really dwells on the family. All those birthdays that you celebrate by keeping me awake means nothing if you don’t have a family to hold you close and tell you they love you.

I can see love everyday in my little corner of Gonzales. My wife is the first harbinger of love because the first words she says to me every morning are, “I love you.” She can still be buried in blankets and her hair looking a little strange, but she always tells me first thing every day that I am her hero. If that isn’t love, I don’t know anything.

Dear reader, if you remember last week, we sort of discussed the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These were a series of seals that forewarned us about the Apocalypse. They foretold our fate that if we continued on a path of debauchery, we would feel the pain of the Beasts of the Earth. So you ask yourself, “How do we avoid dealing with the modern Four Horsemen?” First, let’s figure what the Four Horsemen truly represent in today’s world.

There is a fellow by the name of John Gottman who has been researching the modern Four Horsemen, and he offers the following advice. “By the way,” he said, “we can stop the modern Four Horsemen, but you have to work on it.” He also said that most problems caused by the Four Horsemen are unsolvable. Wow! That makes you want to quit reading and go have a beer.

Horseman 1 (Criticism): I hope I don’t have to explain this one. Try to understand that a comment should never target anything your mate has done or wears or says.

Horseman 2 (Contempt): It seems to me that if you truly have some contemptible statement that you feel like saying to your mate, you should go on a long walk before stating your thought.

Horseman 3 (Defensiveness): Have you ever said something to the one you love to hide what you are truly feeling? That’s what defensiveness is about. Normally it is not a shot at your mate, but to hide your feelings that lead to longer-lasting problems.

Horseman 4 (Stonewalling): This is to delay or block a request, process or by refusing to answer questions by giving evasive answers.

I hope I’m not preaching. I’m not putting these words on the paper. I’m remembering times in my life when I found myself either on one end or the other. No more horsemen or marriage advice. It just seemed to me that if I could remember some of my past and whether I have done the things I write about and have learned from them, I hope to always strive to BE better.

Next week I will share some information about one of our own in South Monterey County who exemplifies family and will celebrate a milestone birthday.

God Bless.