It appears that I have passed another milestone in my life. I have lived long enough to be with my wife for 32 years. I almost didn’t make it, but you’ll see how it came out. Perhaps you too may recognize some of my new habits and other parts of growing older. I am convinced that I don’t have the dreaded coronavirus, but I do think I have been graced with another disease that is almost as bad.
I am now the head of the “Here For” committee within my own family. Perhaps you know of someone that is also afflicted with this terrible malady. Perhaps you, yourself, have had a mild episode of this insidious mystery affliction. You know, where you walk into a room, look around, pick up your water glass from last night, walk around a little more, pick up the three-day old newspaper and try to find the story you thought may have been the excuse you can use for not remembering why you were even in the room. As you stand in the doorway, you look around one more time hoping you find the secret room where all lost things go and ask yourself, “What did I come in here for?”
Although you may be thinking I don’t know what I am talking about, but these things have been happening more often now. I usually recite in my column things I have proven through my own actions. I don’t know if there is a memory prophylactic available yet, but if there is, I probably won’t remember to take it. Now the “Here For” disease is not the only problem. There are other indications that you are losing your youth.
How about your car keys? Have you lost them only to find them after buying a new key for the car and the house? I am not the worst one in my family, but it is still a vicious problem. Probably the worst thing about me and my problems is losing my phone — the one thing that is with me all the time. We are all captured by our phones. If we lose our phones, then all those photos you were going to have printed are gone forever, plus addresses and phone numbers, everything.
Thank goodness that my Blushing Bride has Saint Anthony on her speed dial. He has never failed to help us find our lost treasures; after prayer. (My phone was in the back pocket of my jeans.) If you are a guy, I’m going to tell you what to do if you have lost the car keys. First, see note above and pray. It can’t hurt and has worked for my family on many occasions.
My personal problem is that I can’t remember dates or names. Now, in all honesty, I never could remember a family member’s birth date. They sneak up so fast. I have three birthdays in October alone to remember. But the last straw was that I woke one day and asked my Wonderful Wife what we were going to do that day. Now you know this virus deal has us all nervous and fraught with worry about every little thing, but she looked at me like I had stole the kids and said, “How could you forget it is our anniversary!?”
Anniversary? Oh boy, I was really in trouble. “Uh, how many years is it my love?” I innocently asked. “Uh, um, 34 or 35 years, right?” “No! You forgetful old fool, it’s our 32nd.” She reminded me as she headed out the door. I knew I had to pull off a small miracle. What do I do to make this right? It seems that it just slipped my mind. I forgot. “I was playing a trick on you. How could I forget our anniversary?” She just kept walking.
Then I felt a blessed calm come over me and I remembered along with some divine help her saying that she really wanted a pair of earrings. What kind of earrings? Then again that feeling came over me again and I actually heard her saying to me, “Nothing big or fancy, just a little pair with small lever back so they won’t slip out of my ears like the ones I lost … about 10 years ago.” I yelled out I was going to the store and jumped in my car and pulled around the corner so she couldn’t see me and called my favorite jeweler, McWherter’s, in Salinas. Ruth, who owns the store, answered and I started begging. “I don’t really have any real small stones,” she told me. “But I have some a little larger than you want to pay for.”
“PAY FOR,” I exclaimed. “This is no time to think about money!” I shouted. “I just need them by today!” Ruth told me she would have them ready about 5 p.m. I managed to get My Love in the car and we drove over to Monterey to celebrate. We had a wonderful time eating at one of our favorite restaurants and started to come home. But I told her I had to go through Salinas for some reason and since she was still a little miffed at me, she didn’t complain or praise me. She sat in the car while I ran around the car and opened her door. “What do you want me to do?” “Just come with me,” I implored, “and we’ll go to Dubbers and have a cocktail. Please?” I asked. She just rolled her eyes back and said, “Oh alright.”
As we walked from the parking space, I sort of guided her over to the middle of the 200 block. “Why are you going this way?” she asked. “Oh, I just thought we could walk to the 200 block and see how bad the block had been torn up.” So she grabbed my arm and we walked into McWherter’s. I started talking to the guys that work there and asked Lorraine was there anything she might want. She just shook her head. It was then that Ruth brought out the earrings all dressed up in a beautiful gift box. “I think George wanted you to get this,” she said.
Lorraine had not completely forgiven me for not remembering, so she just gave me another look and opened the packaging. When she saw the earrings, she had a smile that just told me I had done the right thing. So that is how you get forgiveness. Not for the earrings themselves, but for remembering how she wanted them to be made. She loved what Ruth had done. Now, that might not have been the exact way it came down. After all I had to make sure she had a wonderful day in addition.
You know it didn’t happen that easy or even like I wrote, but the end result was my beautiful Lorraine still loves me, she knows I love her and we’ll do this again in about a year from now. I will not forget a birthday or special occasion ever again. I’ll need the helping hands of Our God, but I’m sure I’m going to make it. I think.