I blew it. Last week while bouncing up and down listening to my suspension telling me it was going to quit I wrote that I would vote for whoever would fix our roads. Yikes! Guvner Moonbeam heard my cry. He slammed us with a $0.16 cent tax per gallon. Plus! Plus, we get a rise in vehicle registration of $2 to $4 each. I knew it would come to this. We have been paying just the highest gas tax in the nation already.

Like most taxes that were shouldered by us it’s very hard to see where those taxes were going. Those guys and girls are masters at spinning where they spend the money. Oh well, it’s only money. I would move to Canada except I can’t afford the cost of moving. A lot of folks said they would move if Trump was elected. Have you looked around lately? They are still here. All joking Assaud, I think we have a Syrious president that will respond to the horror of chemical weapons. So much news so little interest.

I thought my lovely bride was coming down with bronchitis. She had a couple of friends that suffered seriously. But, well I don’t know if I’m happy or not. She doesn’t have bronchitis. It’s this dang weather that has all the plants throwing pollen around. She didn’t sleep the other night so I packed her up and sent her to the emergency room to get fixed. Because if your wife doesn’t sleep do you think you might be snoring away? No my friend you will not be sleeping. It’s only fair doesn’t she stay up with you when you are sick and hold your hand and wipe your brow? Dang, I wrote that and all of a sudden I don’t feel a hundred percent. I wonder if we have a hot towel somewhere in the house.

I have my own eggs to poach. It is clearly coming up on the end of the school year and the professors at school have a bunch of things they want us to write about. Ten pages per Professor! I haven’t even read 10 pages since my oldest son started to refuse to get on my lap while I read the Bible to him. Read to your kids they say so I did when both of them were wee tykes. I didn’t have time to get age appropriate literature for them so I just went to my own private stash of reading material and started reading. I know they didn’t know what I was reading to them because they didn’t even know what NO meant.

I keep saying no to Lorraine when she wants to continue the support now she doesn’t know what it means. That’s kinda funny too. You know that’s the first word you teach your kids? Then you just keep repeating the word because if you don’t know what they are doing it means they are doing something wrong.

I have to break here to tell you a little secret. I think I may have the best kids in the world. My lovely daughter has a nice place in Discovery Bay where she will let us come on holidays and mess up her house instead of our own. She is the most thoughtful gift giver I have ever met. She always brings me, on my birthday, or another gift giving occasion the perfect gift. I think she is more like Steve Jobs. Steve is the guy that thought up all the toys we have to have today and we didn’t even know it when he brought them out. Can you go anywhere without your phone? Do you ever just sit there and look at your phone and wonder what it cannot do? It is truly a miracle when you think about it. Did you ever have to pick up your phone and see of anyone on your party line was on it? We don’t do that anymore but it sure made for some strange relationships.

My boys on the other hand both work and go to school. It’s not like they are coasting at school, Reed is taking sixteen units and getting great grades. Now for the best news! Austin is going to walk across that stage and pick up his diploma May 20, and I cannot express how proud I am. All the fights and yelling contests he used to have with his mother are now over. Just kidding! Not about the graduation or the diploma but he never really argued much with his mother. She was his wallet when he needed a couple of bucks till payday. He also works hard at “Andy Boy,” where he is the shipping foreman. I’m really a pretty happy guy. I am truly blessed.

Till next week I hope you are blessed too. I’m sure the politicians will do something for me to write about next week but If they don’t you have a wonderful week.

God Bless.

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Gonzales columnist George Worthy may be reached at [email protected].


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