Unfortunately, I never met my mother-in-law. Jean passed away just a couple of years before my husband and I met. I am sure we would have gotten along famously, though. Hearing stories about her that remind me so much of my own mom, Sharon, makes me feel like I knew Jean.
The similarities are many, including being roughly the same age and being the eldest child who helped care for multiple younger siblings. Their families viewed these fantastic women as people you wanted to spend time with because they were loving, kind and generous. They also believed everyone should get along, even if they didn’t always agree. Even when upset, curse words were not a part of their vocabulary. “Darn it!” or “Shoot!” were about the worst I ever heard come out of Sharon’s mouth! At Christmastime, you could be sure that nobody was left out; even if an unexpected person showed up, a gift somehow appeared under the tree for them.
They were also both known for being thrifty — some might even say, “penny-pinchers.” With a limited budget, bills to pay and kids to feed, being frugal is paramount, and these two were masters of juggling the checkbook and making each paycheck last until the next. If there were coupons or special deals, Jean got the most out of those. She was known to ask to speak to a manager at the grocery store on double coupon day should the clerk at the register tell her one of her coupons didn’t qualify.
Those of you who are of a certain age will remember collecting the green stamps at the supermarket and pasting them into books. Once the books were full, you went to a store to redeem them for a variety of household items. My husband and I both remember those books and the excitement of turning them in for a household item or camping gear, and our trips to Kmart to shop for school clothes. Both of us were frequent recipients of hand-me-down clothing, so we were happy getting something new, even from a discount store. I had two older cousins who were just a few years apart, and my aunt used to sew them cute matching outfits, which meant I ended up with two identical outfits, usually a floral-patterned dress or romper, in different sizes.
Jean and Sharon were both clever in their tactics to conserve funds. There were no name-brand goods in our homes, and we both accepted that store-brand items were identical in taste, only cheaper! It is rumored that Jean went so far as to buy ketchup in a bulk bottle and refill a Heinz container so nobody would complain. Could you get a little more ketchup out of a bottle by adding a little water and shaking it? Absolutely! If salad dressing was just a few weeks past the expiration date, was it still good? Yes, those dates are merely suggestions.
I can clearly remember being disappointed to find something called “Froot Rings” in the cupboard when I’d specifically begged for “Froot Loops.” That isn’t the worst part of that story. Since they didn’t taste as good as the real thing, those sub-standard circles of cereal languished in the cupboard for quite a while and became stale. I tasted one, and it didn’t crunch, so I was going to throw them out. My mom spread them out on a baking sheet and put them in the oven for a few minutes, and voila, the crunch mostly returned.
I remember my mom calling me at work and asking if I wanted to meet her for lunch. I knew that meant she had a “buy one get one free” lunch coupon that was probably about to expire, and she didn’t want it to go to waste. She was horrified when I invited her out to dinner (my treat), and my son was 9 or 10, and I let him order off the adult menu. She was right; he didn’t finish it all.
We laugh now when we share stories about our moms and how much fun it would have been if they’d had the chance to meet. They would have rolled their eyes as we all sat around and ribbed them about their money-saving strategies and how they calculated restaurant tips down to the penny. Jean once remarked that tipping more than 10% was “obscene,” and when we leave a tip of 20% or higher, we usually chuckle and say, “I hope Jean and Sharon aren’t watching!”
Being raised by women who grew up without a lot of extra money and grew into savvy shoppers was a blessing we didn’t always appreciate in our younger years. But, in the end, we learned valuable lessons about the value of a dollar and how to make it last. And while we are known to “overtip” when we feel service warrants it, we have no qualms about scanning the shelves to find a lower-priced item or using a coupon at the car wash or for an oil change. We like to go to flea markets, garage sales and thrift stores because you just never know what treasures you might find. If we want a book, we will generally buy a used copy in a store or online.
So, you could say we inherited the frugal genes from our mothers, but when I am craving Froot Loops, I must spend the extra buck or two and get the real thing (sorry, Mom!).
Columnist Dana Matthews may be reached at ar***@*****st.net.
