George Worthy

Well, hello there! Did you miss me last week? I hope so because I missed that I had to get a column written. Sometimes I just can’t get everything done. Especially when I feel like a battalion of Ukrainian soldiers had camped out on my stomach. I’m all better now and will get caught up on my obligations just as soon as this coffee wakes me up. Of course I would rather go back to bed, but I have things to do that have backed up.

I can see you reading this and saying to yourself, “Heck! All he has to do is poke a bunch of keys and come up with something interesting to read.” How true that is, but it’s the coming up with something to read that’s hard. I really had some great opinions about our government and how it’s being run that I thought you might be interested in, but I promised my bride that I wouldn’t point out the obvious. You already know that.

The best excuse I have is that I was afraid that you wouldn’t be able to read my scribbling. But then my lovely roommate surprised me with a brand new computer! No wonder you find mistakes. Shoot! I keep forgetting the location of the keys of this new computer. Did they change the location of the “Q” or leave off a few vowels?

As I read what I have written, I’m reminded of the parable about the Emperor who wore no clothes. I keep watching TV as the guy who won the position of President tells about how wonderful things are and that we should be so happy he is the Prez. I have to admit that I’m one of the masses that do not believe anything he has to say. 

Hans Christian Anderson said it much better than I, but the results are the same. We are being fed cold lies when we should be eating steak. The greatest country in the world and we are being held hostage by a stumbling guy who wouldn’t know the truth if it bit him in a tender place.

You see, the guys that sold the Emperor on the “finest” clothes must have had this guy in mind when they started their lies. He will get in front of a TV camera and start telling lies about everything he says. “We are so rich and happy. Gas is cheap,” he says, and I guess it is if you live in a big white house in Washington, or if you have a son that is bringing home checks written by the leaders of almost all the despot-controlled countries.

I guess my mom was wrong when she told me that the dollar I found on the ground probably came from the purse of a poor man and that I should just drop it in the collection plate in church. I don’t know about the poor man, but it didn’t make me feel any better when I did as my mom told me that.

I could have bought about eight “Big Hunk” candy bars if only I hadn’t mentioned my blessing. But would it have been a blessing? If I had kept quiet I would have carried the guilt for who knows how long. I don’t remember ever handing over a dollar to the collection plate. In fact I don’t remember my parents ever having a spare dollar. It was always coins tied into a knot that were presented to the man carrying the pole with the basket on the end. 

So I just didn’t tell anyone about my sudden richness. The way I see it, there are no honest members of the Royal Biden family, they just don’t carry the guilt that I had. 

I can remember when a guy that had just led the greatest armada in history came home and stated plainly a quote by British Historian, Lord Acton, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Here he was fresh from the battlefields of Europe and giving his warning to all who would listen that when a person is placed in a position of trust by the populace he has to be above reproach. That is certainly not the case with our little family of corrupt decisions. I remember when The Prez was bragging about getting the prosecutor to drop an investigation that was about to expose his son for the crook he is. Like father, like son.

Enough of all this bad news! Let me tell you about the new computer I have. Of course it is not any better than the old one as far as making me seem like I know what I’m talking about. Still the same number of characters. There are the same rules about the correct way to write about things. Yet it seems like I’m smarter simply because it’s new.

Have you ever wondered why new things always seem better than the old things were? My lovely wife gets a new car about every eight years and my car is a truck about 60 years old. Yet I wouldn’t trade for her car. I can take my truck apart and put it back together. In fact I have done just that about three times. It is faithful because if I am running down the road and it starts missing, I know immediately what the problem is. 

If her car starts missing, I have to call someone. Do you know of any other things that we have today that aren’t as good as the last one? Certainly, one item we need to replace is our family of thieves that live in a house we built for them.

I don’t know if my new computer prints any better than my old one. I won’t say that you are going to like this scribbling any better than the old ones, but it sure looks better on my freshly stained desk, which makes everything look new again.

God Bless.

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Gonzales columnist George Worthy may be reached at [email protected].


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