George Worthy

Do you have a favorite candy bar? I know that doesn’t open up conversation that is important. I mean, it’s important, but probably just to me. I love candy, all kinds of candy. The other reason I ask is that I’m really wondering if I’m having a problem finding my favorite candy because of all the bush-wash that Biden is throwing around. 

If you visit your nearby service station or grocery store, you will see that the assortment of healthy candy is waning. You see, I love the candy named Big Hunk. Have you ever had one? You know, the white nougat candy with the peanuts folded in. They could get rid of the peanuts if they want to, but they seemed to have dropped the entire bar. I imagine that might be because of all the baby teeth, fillings and implants that it may have pulled while it was being masticated.

No, it’s not because I think I’m a hunk, although that was thrown around when I was but a child, and it was my mom speaking. She quit throwing around the idea just about the sixth or seventh time I went to the dentist. I have mentioned a time or two that we weren’t the rich white folks that lived on a hill. We were more the poor white folks that lived in a house that had its best days about 20 years before. 

One of my best friends was a guy named Freddie. Freddie’s mom was a cook for the Bracero crew that lived about a mile from us. I used to love going over to his house because there was always a little piece of Mexican candy that Freddie and I could share. Have you tried Mexican candy? My mom could always tell when I went over to Freddie’s house because in about three days I would have a toothache.

No amount of telling, begging or threat of my dad could stop me from going over there because that was the sweetest candy I had ever eaten. I don’t know how they got it so sweet, although I think now it was just pure sugar. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, unless you are a young boy that just finished losing his baby teeth. 

Of course, I would swear that I hadn’t eaten any of that devil candy, but my mom was much too wise to fall for my protestations. Dental bills were not greeted with joy. I really didn’t care for the dentist. That’s why I cried, and because I yelled the whole time I was in his torture chamber. The louder I screamed, the slower he applied that dang drill. Isn’t a dentist’s drill the most abhorred tool in the world.

These kids nowadays don’t hate their dentist. Why not? Because the kids get this fire-breathing drills that sound like a jet airplane taking off. You hardly feel it due to the pressure of the water jets they use today. 

My yelling was not a sign for him to quit grinding on me and my yelling was not the best advertising for a dentist that specializes in children dental needs. I didn’t care because I swear that he would walk away chuckling to himself when he was through with me. I tried to get him to finish as quickly as he could, and he also wanted me to leave as quickly as possible. 

I was doing pretty well about not eating sweets until I married Lorraine. Yeah, part of it was because she is so sweet, but the major reason I fell off the wagon is because of this “English toffee” that her mother makes. That was one reason I was so excited about her moving in with us. Although it’s been a few months since I have seen any. 

I’ll have to start having Lorraine ask her about making some more. Oh! I’ll admit she has made some, but the jungle drums seem to be loud enough that my younger son knows about it before I do.

Just take the dinner we had the other night. Reed had called to ask us to meet at Luigi’s and he would buy us dinner. (Pretty cool, huh?) Yes, he paid, but when I got up the next morning the little bag that Lorraine and her mother used to store the broken pieces was GONE! That little rascal is watching me more than I thought. I’m going to keep an eye out for him next time.

I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you that I found a store that had a box of Big Hunk, but I can’t. I did ask the sweet lady at the Chevron station in Gonzales to order me some, as I would have bought the entire box, but we will see.

God Bless.

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Gonzales columnist George Worthy may be reached at [email protected].


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