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August 14, 2022

Worthy to Print Column | Finding the Perfect Gift

I want to tell you “Merry Christmas” and send out the love of my family and our wishes that you and your family enjoy the wonderful holiday, where we all give thanks for the Sacrificed Son that proves that God has forgiveness in his heart for all of us. Oh yeah! If you get presents, that’s just cream in the coffee.

Do you have a loved one in your family that always says, “Oh I don’t need anything.” Usually, it is the wife, since she is the hardest person to buy things for. You take my case. My beautiful bride busts her behind every year to make the Christmas season the most wonderful time of the year. She is very good at this and only makes me feel bad because she won’t tell me what she wants for Christmas.

I, on the other hand, am so good to her — just so she doesn’t get to feeling bad like I do. You know, how she keeps saying, “I don’t want anything nor do I need anything.” When you have been married as long as we have, you’re pretty sure she really wouldn’t care if she got a present or not. So now that the ball is back in my cart, and I am not shy about telling her what I want for Christmas, don’t you think that is very generous of me? I mean, I don’t want her feeling sad like I do when the kids all have gifts under the tree. So I let slip a few times that a new set of shocks for my truck would really be cool. 

I tried giving her money once, but that didn’t work at all. Of course I didn’t feel bad. I gave her money so she could buy whatever she wanted. I thought she would like the choice. But no, that wasn’t the answer. My daughter, on the other hand, would be happy with a couple of bucks in her Christmas card. I think most kids are like that. Maybe when they are really young it might be fun to tear open the gifts that have their name on them. But when you get older, you understand that they just want to buy their own present.

I tried giving my love a gift certificate once. That was another mistake on my part. I was surprised when she didn’t react the way I would have reacted. After all, there are many times during the year when a gift certificate from Home Depot would come in handy. You know, maybe I’m not as good as I thought I was at charming my bride. She always says, “That’s OK, honey. You give me gifts all year long. Remember that you shined all my shoes last year? Well, that was a good gift.” There was just something about the way she said that, that I couldn’t believe.

Last year she had given me a leather jacket and I got her a new gardening tool so she could keep her roses blooming. One year I gave her a brand new vacuum cleaner for the car. It runs off the cigarette lighter. I hadn’t noticed that cars are not sold with a lighter any more. Hey! It’s the thought that counts.

I haven’t figured out what I will give her this year. It’s only the 22nd day of the month. Something will come to me. If you have any suggestions, I sure would be happy if you would let me know what would be a good gift for a woman who makes my life worth living. 

Two years ago I gave her a book about living with a person who suffers from PTSD. She read that in about 10 minutes. When I asked her why she read it so fast, she looked over at me coquettishly and said that she had been living with PTSD for at least the past 40 years. I had forgotten how difficult it was for her when we first fell in love. That was the first time I can remember when I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the gift she desired.

Flowers don’t work anymore either. We always bought our flowers from a store that for years took care of that, but they have either been attacked by “The Covid” or they simply don’t care anymore about keeping their good name. Nowadays, they have two types of flowers, wilted and odorless. Aren’t flowers supposed to smell good? I dumped a little aftershave lotion in the water in order to extract a little more of the season while they lasted, but that didn’t work either. I’m about to give up on gifts this year.

Hey! I have nothing to complain about. We live in the best little town in Monterey County, even if the new voting districts are destroying South County’s small town charm. Almost everyone in town waves at you when you are walking around. If you need something, there are wonderful folks that live here that can make whatever you might need. The city council, the city manager and the planning department keep the wheels on the track, and the planning board and even the local high school make sure we are headed in the right direction. 

Yep, I got nothing to complain about. Well, except for a gift for the single greatest wife any man could pray for. Maybe it’s not too late. Is Costco open Christmas Eve?

God Bless.

George Worthy
Gonzales Columnist
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