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January 15, 2021

Worthy to Print Column: Doggone It

By George Worthy, Gonzales Columnist

I have these two dogs. They are a mix between Border Collie and Australian Shepherd. These are the absolute smartest dogs I have ever seen. They sleep in the house, but they are not allowed on the bed or any furniture, as far as that goes. They bark like crazy when the delivery man comes by. They even had a “beware of the dog” note on any delivery to my house. (I asked.) We make them stop barking after they have alerted us that there is someone around the house whose scent they don’t recognize. 

They love to take my bride and I for walks around the neighborhood. They are both bigger than any dogs we have owned, and we hesitated when the breeder told us they would be a problem if they weren’t trained. Both Lorraine and I wanted a dog and we bought the little female. She was so dang cute! Little did we know? We went back down to get the pup after she had been given her shots and the eyes were open and she was so inquisitive. As we sat there talking about dogs, this little brown pup kept climbing up my leg. Ugly tail sticking out and much bigger than his litter mat. 

I’ll bet you can guess what happened at that point. We came home with both dogs. There must have been divine providence. Hey! If you can raise two boys, then two dogs should be no problem, and that is the truth. We have been the parents to these wonderful animals and they have brightened our lives. When the boys went away to college, they filled the emptiness very well. I swear they understand English. We are sure happy the virus doesn’t bother dogs. Or does it? You sure can’t tell from any information we get from our “guvament.” 

So here is why I’m telling you about them today. Here is an example of the way they take care of us. If a delivery person comes up the driveway, they alert us and then this Crazy Virus Killer I married gets in on the act. If it is just me when I get home, I usually just walk in. The dogs don’t bother me, but this Crazy Swiss Miss comes running at me with what I thought was a gun the first time. It is one of those thermometers that you just point at the person’s head and the temperature lights up. 

Thank God no one has been afflicted with the virus in my house. That hasn’t slowed down The Virus Hunter. She is throwing masks and pointing her thermometer, yelling at whoever came through the door, “Put this mask on!” There is never a quiet moment around our house.

I wouldn’t wish the year 2020 on any of my enemies. There may be a light at the end of the tunnel, but I would see it as a train. The new vaccine is being deployed and so many folks are getting an assist in beating this scourge. This is where I’m supposed to assure you that the vaccine is harmless and will protect you from the virus, but since I have no proof. I should do just the opposite of what the politicians say. But I don’t make all the rules in my house and my blushing bride sometimes has other plans. I will tell you, it’s probably too soon to tell.

They should have had this vaccine much sooner, but you just can’t tell about those people. I’m not sure I’ll be the first in line to get that vaccine. If I haven’t told you before, I’m not so confident that the government has our best interests at heart. I’d probably have to be reminded that it’s time to get the medicine. I’m the guy that gets all the way to the door of the store and then I turn around and go back to the car and put on the mask to make sure I don’t get refused service. 

Among all the bad news we can find on TV or online, I want to tell you why I like this time of the year. This is the time of the year my lovely bride and her mom go on a baking spree; specifically, baking cookies. The house smells so good when you go in from outside and there is food everywhere. The butter market goes up higher than a balloon and you may have to go to three or more stores to get enough butter or sugar.

Then the day or two before Christmas, she spends a lot of time boxing them up and I get to take them around to the neighbors. What’s that? Do I take credit for baking them? Sure I do. They all know I’m lying because she has been doing this for about 10 years, so they know where they come from.

God Bless.

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