The comment, often offered as criticism, that for writers of columns it is “all about them” and so of little value beyond opinion, which we all have. Very true. If you regularly read Lucy’s stuff up in Soledad or every Wednesday in Gonzales you start your day reading what George has to say or if this column is your choice (or all three), then you know we all put our personal lives out there for public consumption, which is a revealing process not everyone would be comfortable with. While I can’t speak for other columnists, I would suggest most writers hope we are “writing for the everyman” (excuse the non-inclusive pronoun), and as such revealing personal experiences and our responses to those experiences are there for the reader in turn to look at their life and find the experiences that formed their personal positions of life.
Let me offer a decision, a conclusion, I came to regarding a too long period in my life with the thought the story will hit a nice chord with some and be very discordant with others. After I walked out of my marriage of five years, leaving a wife and two children in Salinas, and headed back down to the Greenfield area, I spent the next seven years in an off-again-on-again swirl of alcohol and drugs, all the time keeping gainly employed at a variety of jobs. When I had enough of that lifestyle, I headed south, did a self-administered, at-home cold turkey rehab, and in time returned to the Valley.
Over the next few decades, when I looked back on that time (and admittedly a few short times after that) I did so with deep regret and self-loathing for all that wasted time, time when I could have been working on those things in life that result in the positive, not the negative. But either by words I read or heard or organically it became clear that such thinking was going to lead to the very cold and unsocial lifestyle of an isolated old man, and to hell with that.
When my living situation abruptly ended a dozen years ago, I returned to the Valley where I spent my formative years, to the city where I was born and attended high school and after lived and worked and even once co-owned a business, with the hope something empirical in my life would benefit others. And thanks to a host of individuals in this town and surrounding area that hope has been, and continues to be, fulfilled in small part. I like to think the little bits of input I have in a variety of activities and events are of benefit to my fellow residents, and surely it beats the hell out of sitting at home and getting old and codgery (spellcheck informs “codgery” is not a word, but I bet you know what I mean).
That is not meant as a pat on the back by the owner of the back, it is not self-serving. It is because writers know while their experiences probably do not match yours, you may in your personal life have had some bum times that led to bum decisions that later in life offer bum recriminations of self. I still regret those lost times, but because of what I learned by them I no longer beat myself up over them, and that is what I hope readers take from my words. Give yourself a break on the bummers of your past and look to what you offer the present and find how you can benefit others; it is a life game changer, take my word for it. ‘Nuff said here.
***
It has long been said discussions of politics and religion may put a strain on relationships of all levels from scant associations to marriages so are best left out of “polite” social discourse. Well, that age-old adage got tossed out the window some time ago and, in this national election cycle, both are in the forefront of public discussion. But both of those personally sensitive issues do not surface in the face of other considerations and I can prove it.
It is not unknown by readers that I am a man of meager means, so to speak, and as such was not in a financial position to afford the costs of getting to my grandson’s recent funeral in Oklahoma. A man, knowing this, made a most gracious offer that would allow me to spend some time with my daughter after such a loss in her life. He did not know my grandson, does not know my daughter, but there was a time in our lives when he and I experienced the same things on the same campus and still share a couple of interests, and he is a father of a daughter and a grandfather so he inherently knows such a loss would wound deeply.
It was an offer of agreement about loss of a young family member. And I can assure that in this election when he and I cast our ballots as political animals, we will not check the same boxes, but as merely humans we will still be on the same page. And that is how it should be, politics and religion need not separate us.
***
It is not news to most of us that the world is rife with religions and has been since the advent of modern humans, and in many cases these religions do not agree with each other on a variety of subjects. But I came across some words, which in my mind would be hard for any person to argue against successfully, and they came from a film celebrity. On a late-night television show, actor Keanu Reeves was asked, “What do you think happens when we die?” He responded with, “I know the ones who love us will miss us.” And how do you disagree with that?
Take care. Peace.
